‘Madelaine Albright may sue Armstrong’

That’s what my source said to me. I can neither confirm nor deny it. It all stems from ‘that day’ when Armstrong’s missus lied to the cops…

You know, I don’t know why anyone in the USA is bothered about drink driving to be honest. If you watch too many Hollywood movies, as I might, you see it all the time. I thought it was legal over there. I thought DUI meant ‘Driving Under Inebriated’.

‘Ah sir, step out of the car please. Now, how much have you had to drink tonight?’

‘A coupla beers officer, honest.’

‘A couple! Why you..! Here, drink this, five shots of tequila and then be on your way.’

The worst thing for me about the whole ‘affair’ was not the crap that pair got up to and her ‘I don’t usually lie’ routine – clearly learned from her fella –  but the tweet LA sent out earlier in the day when he was at the gym.

It was this:

Does anyone have an Insincerity Counter? That is off the charts. The guy makes even a compliment smell like you’re driving past the sewage treatment plant.

Poor Madelaine!

She survived allegations of helping out in the murder up to half a million kids thanks to the sanctions brought against Iraq back in 1996, squeaked past the art ownership controversy that involved her family back in Austria in the 2nd World War, and even emerged into daylight after allegations of hate speech against Serbians and after evidence popped up that he company was involved in some slightly insideresque dealings in Kosovo around the same time – only to end up being tweeted about by LA and her ‘crushing’ of the elliptical trainer!

(I didn’t make that stuff up, Wikipedia told me).

Just when you thought you were out of the woods…

Probably the first time a politician has been sullied by association with an athlete. Usually the other way round, right?

Yeah, thanks Lance!

What next? Mouth ulcers from kissing toxic babies?

 

 

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